Hey guys, Hope you all are doing good.

Now, If you know me personally, you would know that I have stories associated with literally everything that is visible to eyes.

From the sun, stars, to the moon, the beaches, the gardens, chocolates and also about the biscuits you eat.

Now, I have this habit of revisiting the Old, blur and muddy memory of our (Me+Sibling) childhood that our parents have collected all along this journey of us growing up. Today was one such day. But what caught my attention today was something that I had not experienced before.

There is this saying about Childhood –

“There are things that you hold onto, because they are so much part of you. The places you went, the places you knew.” – The Wonder Years

What is the First thing that comes to your mind, When you go through your child self?

Today while turning the sheets of the album, I saw a little girl, almost falling, crawling, grinning, frowning, crying and smiling in all the pictures. And Immediately I switched my glance at the current pictures with all the trendy poses and perfect lightings, yet something was missing. Surprisingly, there was a huge difference that could only be felt by the beholder.

There was a nostalgia, a vibe so pure that could draw anybody’s glance in the former case, on the contrary, Despite being “Picture Perfect” the latter pictures could convey nothing more than the calculated, arduous process of of getting that picture.

Something was surely missing, But what and Why?

Well if you have similar thoughts, ask yourself

What different you did as a child, that enlightened the spark in you?

Come let’s walk down the memory lane.

The question is in itself the Answer.

When was the last time you followed the ‘child-heart’ within you that is now to be found only in muddy albums? The last time you laughed your heart out like a child without worrying how others would judge you of being uncivil. When was the last time you had a fight with your sibling for keeping the remote? Do you still do it?

Okay forget about pictures.

Do you remember asking your parents with utmost curiousness, how the earth is round? When all you could see was a straight concrete road everywhere. How the water never spilt out of its space If the earth is revolving? Did you misunderstand a Lion for a Tiger? Do you remember coloring those squares, triangles, and circles with Red, blue and green carefully? Have you ever revisited the dumped pages of the slam books you once filled at the end of each academic year trying to collect memories? Have the people claiming you as their “Best Friend” kept their promises? Remember how signing somehow gave a feeling of pride as a child? How could you forget the fun in writing your own leave letters & spending days practicing your parents signature just so you could sign your absent notes without their acknowledgement?

You remember your exact levels in Counter-strike. But, hey don’t you miss the fun defeating your best friend in lagori, kabaddi and kho-kho?

As Children, We all must have heard fascinating stories about the moon, Do you still catch yourself wondering how the moon that you see from your balcony is the same as your friend seeing from his balcony staying far away. Remember how while travelling “Chanda Mama” would always accompany you everywhere you went. Ask yourself, Do you still try to catch him at a ride?

Hey, Do u have any memory of the ‘Cycle’ that your dad gifted you?  How he initially held his grip tight walking with you like a guard along the road that had the capacity to crush you then. As you learnt to walk along this rough path, he let his grip loose. But hey, Now that you have learnt how to walk alone, look back, he is still standing there to see you fly with the wings that he gifted you. Now that these hands that taught you how to ride and fly alone are getting Old, How often do you hold them with the same affection and care. Do it often my friend, cause now you have began to realize, how time is slowly taking things away from you.

Now that you have grown up, how do you plan your holidays? Fancy hotels, luxurious trips and pocket cutting. My friend, Don’t you miss, how every summer vacation was a calling to family gatherings at  Nana-Nani’s place Comprising of good food, all wishes fulfilled and yaa pocket-money!

We all have big dreams as children. never knowing how but always what. As far As I remember, I wanted to become a scientist, doctor, actress, journalist & also a chemical engineer but what I am currently pursuing is nowhere near to it yet It’s still something that I am happy with. Wasn’t it the delusion, that allowed you to see big dreams never knowing about the How’s but only the what’s? Now that the dust of a realistic life has blurred your sight, don’t you miss being the child that could just land on mars one day and become Prime Minister of the nation or a rockstar the other day just by the imagination that you had.

Hey, Do you remember your first crush? That ‘heart just skipped a beat’ feeling that one glance of the person gave you. How getting a seat right next to him/her & sharing lunch boxes was all that you wished for. How holding hands could get your adrenaline gushing. Don’t you miss the innocent old school romance over today’s relationships where ripping off clothes is the only expression of love.

Remember your first coffee date? And the mess that came along with it? The efforts that you had put in trying clothes after clothes and finding the best gifts and how uncomfortable, clingy, messy and yet perfect the first meeting was. Do you still feel those butterflies in your tummy followed by discomfort and that awkward silence? Or even you have labeled this natural discomfort as a  sign of ‘lack of confidence’ and ‘faithlessness’ ?

The first Heartbreak. Trust me, it the toughest of all. How you thought that everything was over and you wouldn’t be able to survive it and now that you have made it through many such heart breaks, Do you sit back with your friends giggling about how bad your choice was?  

When was the last time that you chose stars above your head over those glittery LED lights of the club on Saturday nights?

Remember spending hours lying in an open ground counting stars with your friends and failing miserably always. Hey, Do you still try to find faces in the moon and clouds? Do you still make a wish when you see a shooting star?

Remember your first job college presentation and your first job interview? Weren’t they nerve-wrecking?

When was the last time you bumped into your neighbors’ house just to know if they are fine? How often do you have a conversation with yourself? How often do you pray? When life gets a Lil hard on you, do you still search for your Mom’s lap And her kiss that still has the power to take away all your problems. Do you turn to your friends before turning to your cell-phones to find answers to the problems that were never taught to you in academics? Do you remember watching how sky changes its color from black to pinky-purplish slowly turning into orange and then yellow and how the sun rises out of nowhere and then sets off in an envelope trying to tell you that you did your best this day and even if you didn’t, there is another day coming up that you have to prepare yourself for, promising to rise tomorrow. Do you still find yourself astonished, seeing the Sun and the Moon together during the daytime?

Do you still find yourself doing these things?
If not, Why?

Since childhood we are taught to be this fast learner that knows everything beforehand. Because children who grasp things fast are approved of as intelligent. We are expected to figure out our entire life (in terms of career) at the age 16-17, and that we need to make an ‘Impact’ while we are still trying to figure out things about ourselves. Now, I heard this interview which beautifully explained the root cause of the problem. We are now a generation that needs instant gratification for everything in life. you want to buy something, go to Amazon and you have it. You want to watch a movie, just login and watch, u don’t have to check movie timings. Some people skip the entire episode so that they can binge at the end of season. You want to date someone, you don’t even have to learn and practice the skill sets that require you to go like ‘heeeeyyyyyyy….’ Just swipe right, and bang, you are already a stud! We as individuals always want to be perfectly prepared for things that we never experienced in life. And when our first times are not appreciated, we deem ourselves to be failures. We as a generation are failing to realize that success and happiness comprise of a process, ‘A Slow Process’. Job satisfaction and strength of relationships, there ain’t no app for that. They are slow.

 We often search for trust in the people we have just met. My friend, Trust doesn’t form at an event, in a day. Even bad times don’t form trust immediately. It’s the slow, meandering, uncomfortable, messy process. So, when we try to find things like trust, love, and success as instantaneously as any other app, we fail miserably which makes things worst and you close yourself to the kid that is expressed above. So, we have a generation growing up with lower self-esteem that doesn’t have the coping mechanisms to do with significant stress.

We as individuals just have to learn the ability to accept that we wont always make the right decisions. we will screw up, sometimes badly. But our mistakes don’t mean we’ve failed, only that we are trying and learning in life. 

Because My friend,

‘In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed’.

By-  Swati Upadhyay